Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Last Sunday I spoke about the value of having friendships and being part of a community. While it is important to have friends we must make sure that we have the right kind of friendships. Some friendships can be very unhealthy; the following are some types of friendships you should avoid:

1. Some friends are opportunists. Avoid friendships where you are constantly being taken advantage of because you supply meals, money, transportation, sex, or a place to live.

2. Avoid friends who bring out bad behavior in you. Does this friend cause you to drink more, use drugs, have doubts about your marriage, lie, or become impatient with your children?

3. Make sure the friendship is balanced. Do you spend hours helping this friend only to have them ignore you in times of need?

4. A true friend respects who you are. Don’t give in to friends who try and make you over in their own image.

5. Be wary of the self centered friend. Do they constantly talk about themselves and their accomplishments and try and make themselves look better than you?

6. Stay away from friends who have a victim mentality. They drain you emotionally by telling you how bad their lives are while never even thinking of your feelings.

7. Is your friend jealous? This friend will sabatoge your relationship with others including your spouse because they demand your undivided attention.

8. Beware of the friend who avoids you when they are around their other friends.

9. Watch out for liars. You need a friend who you can trust.

10. Is your friend dependable? Your friendship will become frustrating if your friend makes promises but never caries them out.

Jesus gives us the definition of a true friend:

“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:13-15).

Ask God to lead you into friendships that are not only healthy but honor and give Him glory as well.

Scott Pollard
Associate Pastor

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