The “Need to Control” is Ruining Your Life

It’s true. We all have a deep need to be in absolute control of our lives. We NEED to know what will happen next and be absolutely OK with it. We will even go so far as to ignore truth that is right in front of us if that helps maintain the illusion of control…and it is ruining your life. Seriously.

You can, actually, control most of your life. There are a few variables that will be out of your control, but with a good enough imagination, you can totally ignore those.

For instance, that person didn’t just pull out in front of you, therefore receiving your wrath in a silent bombardment of “who knows what”. Instead, you ran a red light. But, once you have developed a pattern of lying to yourself, you can effectively avoid noticing that red light and continuing believing YOU were the one that was wronged.

As kids, we are great at letting our imaginations take over reality. We can fly like Superman, run like The Flash, and fight crime like Batman.


In truth, if you try to fly without some type of technology, you will fall. If you try to outrun a speeding car, you will get run over. And if you try to fight crime like Batman, you will be an invalid after your first night. Similarly, because all humanity has a flawed understanding of reality, if we try to control our lives, we will fail.


The natural question then, is…”If I can’t be in control of my life, who will?”
That is a great question to ask. But you may not like the answer.

Right now you are fighting every bit of truth to believe you are in control.
You are giving control to people that you don’t even realize. (Did you really pick out that outfit because you loved it, or did you see someone “more popular” than you wearing something very similar?
Are you checking your latest uploaded post to see how many people loved/liked/”hearted”/or commented? You’ve given all of those people control.

The truth is, we will give control away at some point. It may take years, but we will eventually recognize that we can not adequately craft the perfect life.

What if we let someone better capable do it for us? You see, when we let God take the brush out of our hands, anything is possible.

This past Sunday, I read this poem by Helen Steiner Rice called “God Knows Best”. In it, you will great wisdom, that God does, in fact, know best. Even when we try to fly like Superman only to eventually fall in a grisly crash…God always knows best.

Our Father knows what’s best for us,
So why should we complain–
We always want the sunshine,
But He knows there must be rain–

We love the sound of laughter
And the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts would lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear…

Our Father tests us often
With suffering and with sorrow,
He tests us, not to punish us,
But to help us meet tomorrow…

For growing trees are strengthened
When they withstand the storm,
And the sharp cut of a chisel
Gives the marble grace and form…

God never hurts us needlessly,
And He never wastes our pain
For every loss He send to us
Is followed by rich gain…

And when we count the blessings
That God has so freely sent,
We will find no cause for murmuring
And no time to lament…

For our Father loves His children,
And to Him all things are plain,
So He never sends us pleasure
When the soul’s deep need is pain…

So whenever we are troubled,
And when everything goes wrong,
It is just God working in us
To make our spirit strong.

Mark Love
Lead Pastor

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