The Lost Secret of Love


Did you know there is a lost secret to living a life full of love? That’s the kind of life that we all want, whether we fully understand it or not. There’s a centeredness to knowing you are loved and knowing you have someone to love.

There’s a secret, though.

You see, most people understand love as the feeling you have when you’re with someone that cares for you, excites you or generally makes you happy. If you look up the English definition of love, you’ll find:

“an intense feeling of deep affection, a great interest and pleasure in something, to feel deep affection for (someone), to like or enjoy very much.”

Most of us believe this is what love is…an intense feeling, deep affection, a great interest in something. The problem with this definition? Who can control how oneself feels? Do you see the problem?

We can’t control how we feel. We either feel something or we don’t! If I’m anxious, I can’t just tell myself to stop. If I feel fear, I can’t just stop being afraid. And if I don’t feel loved, I can’t just force myself to feel this premiere emotion. Instead, we tend to passively walk through life waiting for something or someone to make us feel love.

But love was never meant to be a passive feeling.

Paul talked about this in the Bible’s most known passage on love in his first letter to the Corinthians. As you walk through each of the statements of what love is and what love isn’t, you’ll find that they are all describing an action.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13
Be patient (or give time to people as they need it).
Be kind (or serve them as they need to be served; make their time with you sweet).
Rejoice with the truth.
Don’t be envious, boastful, arrogant or rude (thereby showing them that all you want is to win and for them to ultimately lose compared to you).
Don’t insist on getting your own way because how can we be patient or kind if we do?
Don’t be irritable or resentful which costs others something to be around you.

Do you see the lost secret of love, yet?
Love isn’t a passive feeling. It’s an action!

The lost secret of love can be found throughout the Bible. It applies to generosity and submission, too!
We feel loved when others make loving choices and act loving towards us.
However, Paul goes farther than this. He says that you shouldn’t wait to be loved. You should be the instigator!

Choose to love others, first. THAT IS THE LOST SECRET!
Of course there will be some that receive your love and keep it all for themselves, but most people will want to reciprocate!

When someone is truly kind to you, how do you respond?
When someone truly wants to serve you. How do you respond?
When someone sacrifices for you, don’t you feel compelled to return their love with love?
Of course you do! That is the secret to love.
Love others and it will (usually) return to you.

Be generous to others and they will be generous to you.

Submit to your wife and she will want to submit to you (and vice versa).

God built this economy into the fabric of our existence.

You be the instigator and you will find that others choose to love you and you will feel love.
This is exactly opposite of how the world waits passively to be loved.

Choose to love. That is the secret.

Choose to love your spouse.
Choose to love your kids.
Choose to love your neighbors.
Choose even to love your enemies.
That is the way of love.
That is the way of Jesus.

Try it out. Choose to love and see what comes back in return.

With much love,

Pastor Mark

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